When I was 3, my grandmother would take me 4 blocks from our house, in San Francisco, down to Ocean Beach, to run Mimi, the poodle. One of my first memories is screaming on the shoreline while she would put her feet in the water, I was terrified the ocean would sweep her away.  I was considered the families catastrifizer, no it’s not a real word. I wasn’t a girl scout, but I am a boy scout by nature. Mostly prepared most of the time. I spend much time in my own head creating pack lists. I am going to NY in July and I have all my supplemental gear, that I can’t have on carry on and cannot afford to lose, being rented and shipped.  I have a box I am shopping for and will be shipping 3 weeks ahead to greet us at the hotel so I will not have to shop in Mid -Town for these items. I might even ship my lightweight small espresso maker. Certainly worth not paying $10.00 bucks a latte, I have 3 a day, Ian has 2, and not having to go a few blocks and wait for a coffee.

I think a lot about many things.  I make forecasts on present conditions and then I prepare. Some I am wrong about, some I am not. I have a motto I live by, it works for me and it came from one of my favorite movies, True Romance. “It is better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.” I never hope to use my gun. I never want to touch it. But I have it if I need it. I use it as a metaphor. I have many things stored, such as food water medicine.

Which goes along the vein of one of the things I am thinking about now is the swine flu. This blog post is meant for my children friends and family. It’s here. Don’t panic, but it’s in the USA , as of today it’s in 5 known places that reach coast to coast. I loved what the science corrospandent said on NBC don’t hoard tamiflu it could build a resistance. Horseshit. It’s an anti viral not an anti biotic and there are not 6 billion doses on the planet. Tami flu is effective (they think) with this strain but there is hardly enough. The good news is the kill rate doesn’t seem to be high the bad news in Mexico, at least, is that young healthy people are dying and it’s the same strain. In the next week the CDC and WHO will know much more, but what they know now has me debriefing my family like we are the CIA. What scared me is WHO is listing this as of today a 3 (higheast score is 5, which is a world pandemic outbreak) I predict because of where it is on the planet that it will be a 4 in a few days. This flu has four genetic types of flu strain, 2 swine, 1 avian, 1 human. It’s never been seen before, so humans have 0 resistances and it is transferred human to human. It’s airborne. YIKES! This is bad. They think it has a 2 day incubation. That is very fast and good for quarantines.

Here is what I am telling my kids. If I were going on any public transportation I would be wearing a mask. I would rather look stupid and keep my health than to care what a stranger thinks of me and risk the life of myself and family. If you have flu symptoms, fever, aches, major chest and head congestion stuff, get to a DOC ASAP (you can only treat it with an anti viral if you catch it before 36 hours, be smart catch it within 12) otherwise you will have to ride it out. Risk of death for the young and healthy from pneumonia is real, get the antiviral Tami flu, take it quick, take it all. Do not come home. If you have to come home you will be quarantined.

WASH YOUR FLIPPIN HANDS ALL THE TIME. Why don’t they teach cross contamination is schools to the young? They need to start in Kindergarten and tell the little children that monster are real, they are invisible and live on surfaces, especially on hands and the only way to kill them is to wash your hands. They would be washing all the time.

DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE EVER FOR ANYTHING and if you must WASH YOUR HANDS.

STAY OUT OF CROWDS. IF YOU HAVE TO GO TO COSTCO WEAR A MASK THEN WIPE ALL YOUR STUFF DOWN WITH A DISSENFECTANT. 

FOR GODS SAKE, IF YOU HAVE TO COUGH OR SNEEZE, BE A DECENT HUMAN AND PUT YOUR FACE INSIDE YOUR SHIRT.

THE ONLY WAY YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVE BEEN EXPOSED IS WHEN YOU BECOME SICK.

Thanks for listing now I am going to plant a garden.

I know this stage. On the cusp of puberty, almost gone, the bit of innocence and sweetness. He's changing so fast. I need to capture it.

I have been neglecting the blog as far as writing although I have been photographing a lot and I also have been in the middle of switching over computers. There has been a disruption in my workflow because I can't load in certain actions and Pictage doesn't work with a  64 bit version of Vista and Lightroom 2 straight out of Lightroom won't burn my discs now. So super argg. I like the speed of my new computer, but I need the actions and presets for my workflow. I was checking out Doug Boutwell, I bought his TOTALLY RAD ACTIONS, here’s the link http://gettotallyrad.com/#rockin-photoshop-actions-7a1d9 you'll have to copy and paste because I suck and still can't figure out how to insert it. Anyway I was checking out his work and he is really a good artist. While I was at his site I saw his 30 random things about himself. I am stealing his idea, but making it 45 because that’s my age in years on the planet.  

When checking out other wedding photographer's bios I see many who lead with their favorite color and their favorite flavor of ice cream and so on. I am looking for substance and content, but I see that they just loved shooting pictures since they were little. I identify with them, but then I think that isn't good enough for me to justify handing them $5K+. Why am I going to spend my $$ on you? Because you are cute and like pastels and bubbles. If you go to www.kimjamesfineart.com you will get my bio and my art education and my experience. Not what color I like.

 So here is the first random thing about me.

1. I am a nice Bitch! I'll say it always to your face, only if you ask, I will do everything to set you at ease and make you comfortable besides take abuse. Then the wicked bitch comes out.

2. I study photography and art every day, every single day. I love Edward Weston  Alfred Stieglitz, Sylvia Plachy, Steven Meisel  Paolo Ravorsi,  Annie Leibovitz, Guy Boudin, Albert Watson, Carol Carter, Birgit O’Conner, Nancy Collins. I am in love with Maxfeild Parrish and Georgia O’Keefe. I saw their work when I was 5 and it took my breath away. I would have Maxfeild Parrish originals all over my house if I could afford them. I want to paint the inside of flowers.

3. I would rather paint, photograph and write more than I want to fit in, gossip, hang out or belong.

4. I am my most critical judge of my work. It's never strong enough.

5. I wanted to be a bareback rider in the circus when I was five. Sometimes I still do.

6. I am afraid of the ocean's power and I desire to be near it. Same with horses.

7. I believe in reincarnation, life in other galaxies and a great creator.

8. I hate dogma. HATE IT! I am a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. I believe in = rights for all humans.

9. I love photographing people because it is such an honest experience for me. To really see someone is an honor.

10. I know boys and girls are different. Not better or worse.

11. If we taught sex as biology rather than as morality we’d have less knocked up teenagers.

12. After I photograph a person I come to know them through their images and I miss them and find I feel a kinship to them, even if we were strangers before.

13. I am fiercely in love with my entire family.

14. I hurt when they hurt, but unless they are under the age of 17 I don't usually run interference between them and the disaster they choose. I believe we must grow in our own way and own pace.

15. Dave Matthew's lyrics knock me over and I never get sick of him. Some Devil, is my favorite CD of his.

16. I was a fashion model in NY for Elite in the 80s I lived in NY and Paris, worked in Rome, danced at studio 54 and Regines and I didn't do a thing to create that for myself. It was handed to me. I didn't appreciate all the wonderful people who were kind to me. But one by one I am saying thank you. Martin Ryter, Oliviero Tuscani, John Casablancas.

17. I have 5 living children I had a baby that died and another that almost did. We survived it, I survived it.

18. I started smoking when I was 10 and quit when I was 42. Marlboros, I still miss them and would rather smoke one in Paris at a cafe with Shirley than paint.

19. I have had my heart broken 5 times. Every time I thought I would die. I didn’t.

20. I think about my grandpa and my brother every day.

21. I like physics. "What the Bleep do we Know." is one of my all time favorite films. 

22. I let my beautiful 16 year old daughter go live in Switzerland for almost a year because it was the best thing for her and I miss her so much!

23. I have 3 dogs, I will always have dogs. Big ones.

24. I love camping and swimming and BBQs at our families special place on the Trinity. I dream of it.

25. I live in the wilderness and I never tire of the smell of summer in the pines, campfires and fresh thunderstorm rains mixed up with freshly wetted dirt.

26. I want a little fine art show in a gallery in New York when I am 80. I love to shoot nudes, but you won’t be catching me naked.

27. I miss San Francisco so much I dream of a little apartment in the Marina when I am old.

28. I will write a book in my older years. I have already written a script, I write poetry, only when I am in a grave amount of turmoil and some is really good, I have been told.

29. If you are my friend I will love you till I die even if we have had a falling out.

30. I can’t believe that my children have grown up so fast I still feel 25. I also think they are better people than I am.

31. I love medicine and science and I read the news on them often.

32. I am 20 pounds overweight and I love to eat especially desert. Chocolate cake please. I work out daily and do not allow myself many food items and still 20+. ARG.

33. I am a damn good cook! I am also a damn good gardener.

34. I was a model agent and scout for 8 years and I commuted to SF from Sonoma everyday with my babies. I also traveled to NY and Miami with them.

35. I love super raunchy comedy, but I have to listen to it alone. It’s too embarrassing and I laugh loudly.

36. I dropped out of school in the 10^th grade. I have been going to the school of my own curriculum ever since. I own close to a 1000 books. I read 2-3 hours a day, everything. I have at least 20 items on my nightstand at any given time to read.

37. I love to swear and give the finger. At 45 I have learned a time and a place.

38. I believe there are only 2 forms of being, love or fear. I may feel fearful but I try to love anyway.

39. In another life I would be born to 2 gay men in the Castro and I would be their princess.

40. I once rode on the back of a motorcycle going 120 mph. I was in a swimsuit. I also raced from St. Tropez to Paris going 130 in a Ferrari. I wasn’t driving.

41. I used to sneak into the San Francisco zoo when I was 9 and I would take the bus and the troli all over the city alone.

42. Days at the beach watching my children swim and photographing them is one of my favorite ways to spend the day.

43. I fly in my dreams and dream in color. Last week I was in Dubai and I was also visiting Steven Meisel in his NY apartment.

44. French Vogue is an indulgence. I LOVE FASHION!!!!

45. I have been studying painting, fine art and photography for 11 years now. I teach the 6 elements of design through the watercolor media to 4^th and 6^th graders.

 

Wedding season is upon me and so is spring cleaning. I want to be organized for the very busy season I am now facing. 7 weddings and counting plus a pretty busy portrait studio. I can hardly believe it. I am so excited. I love taking pictures. Love IT! I have worked so hard these last few years and I am seeing that this may be a viable way to earn and love what I am doing at the same time.

My web sites are fine now. Thank you Big Folio. they are so cool!

I did it. I bought a kindle 2, I have been waiting and waiting for one. I just spent 3 days going through about a 1000 books all mine. I am a reader on many subjests and a collector of knowledge. After days of dust and a wonderful wedding booking in New York city this summer I decided I need a kindle. No more big fat heavy book bags for me. It's a luxury I can't really afford there are other pressing things, but I just turnd 45 and I think it's a perfect gift for me.

Note when one turns 45 and one has raised almost 5 children, giving ones self a nice gift isn't hard!