Best picture, Slumdog

Best actor I think Micky will get it, but Sean Penn deserves it.

Best actress Ann Hathaway.

Best Supporting actress Viola Davis.

Best Supporting Acrtor Heath Ledger.

Best Director Danny Boyle.

 

 

Written March of 2005

Pondering my surroundings my life.....

I have finally arrived home. I live on the edge of a great meadow. Beyond the meadow is a lake, which I have full view of, if it’s full enough and this year it is. The meadow and the lake border a national forest, one of the least frequented ones in the nation. Also one of the most treacherous. It contains a real volcano. This is the first home of my own. My husband and I share it with our 5 children and 2 dogs now. The oldest Scout, who was with us for the last 13 years we put down last week. Argus is 3 , he is our oldest now. He has cancer, hence the new pup Titus. I can not be dogless. We have 3 goldfish in a tank in our living room. And sometimes wildlife on the meadow choose to come over our white picket fence to forage for meadow mice that run to our home for sanctuary.

I have personally seen hawks, osprey, crows, sparrow hawks, igrids, snow geese, Canada geese, swans, sea gulls, Bald and golden eagles, blue birds, ducks (many types) pelicans, sand hill cranes, swallows, bob cats, the tracks of a cougar, many coyote dead and alive, raccoon, dear mice (the nasty ones that carry Hunta virus), a wood marmot (that was weird), beaver, garden snake and rat.

I love this meadow. I ski it everyday in the winter, or did until the knee issue, out to the shores of the lake. I fancy myself CSI of the meadow to see the story the snow is trying to tell. Frantic tracks of rabbit running (deeper tracks) at first in straight line, then the dodge, this way and that, the tracks go, then blood, spatters of it, around the blood, an area where it seems as if someone has taken a feathered fan and tried to dust the snow with it, then nothing, gone. No more tracks the story is over. AHHHHHHHHHHHA. It must have been an Eagle, 10 foot wing span. A big enough bird to lift that fat rabbit (deep tracks). Many stories on the meadow. When the snow comes it’s easier to read. Coyotes eat their own dead nothing is wasted. Even the blood is licked off the snow. I come upon many dens in the snow. Daytime travel on the meadow is safe. Except for the birds, most of the meadow life is nocturnal. Coyotes eat the meadows mice. It’s a rare occasion to see one doing so in daylight. They are efficient hunters. To read the hunt of a coyote after a mouse is about 20 ft of track in the snow. They sniff them out on top. Then dive like an osprey does for a fish.

The summer is tough, the grasses are high and the packs of coyote and raccoon remain hidden. The meadow is load at night. The animals are in full conversation or war. The coyotes will send one of their bitches in heat to lure and intact male (still has his testicles), from the neighborhood, out for breading rights and it doesn’t matter his size he becomes their dinner. Raccoons do the same. They are vicious killers. At night I watch my dogs when they go out to relieve themselves. Sometimes the killing can be heard and it is blood chilling. A pack of animals taking out it’s victim is not usually recorded in audio and the pitch of the yelps and screams turns my stomach. I can hear them all playing at first, they are load with their howls. Once the growling begins I know it’s dog prey has been surrounded. I want to save it, but I know the last cry as it smothers silent. It’s neck has either been torn out or broken. I usually don’t sleep too well on those nights and I am left to ponder the natural world and who made it.

When I was little I dreamt of living on the edge of the wilderness. Now I do. My art studio / photo studio,  is 266 square feet of my heaven. It faces the meadow. Out the grid windows is my small kitchen garden, white picket fences and a dedicated area for ashes of our beloved dead. I have Scout buried on our back yard side. A tiny fertile garden. Delphiniums asters daisies, pink climbing roses. Zinnias hollyhocks sunflowers peonies, iris, lavender, rosemary thyme, chives sage line the fence. I have a small version of an old fashioned English garden with it’s bounty bursting through the fences, beyond is the wild. Just as I dreamt of. I have a 1880s coal stove sitting in the south western corner, where I burn almond kindling in lu of smoking. I have to crack the window though or I’ll die of carbon monoxide poisoning. The fire is to help warm me, but mostly to soothe my spirit. Staring into the flames helps.

I finally have a room of my own and I come here whenever possible to connect with that divine power that created me. This place is my sanctuary and it has been a long journey here. I fear this is only a pit stop, a resting place. I hope to remain for a long delicious time. When we moved to the Inn’s Barn 12.5 years ago I recall looking over the fence and thinking of it(the fence) as the border to heaven. Behind it a vast wilderness, a couple of houses and to the East a huge meadow. Boundless. I read CS Lewis’s book “The Great Divorce“. and I thought of the fence as the boundary to heaven. --"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.'" However, the narrator's descriptions of sin and temptation will hit quite close to home for many readers. Lewis has a genius for describing the intricacies of vanity and self-deception, and this book is tremendously persistent in forcing its reader to consider the ultimate consequences of everyday pettiness. --Michael Joseph Gross

-- about, "The Great Divorce".

Now I’m on the other side of the fence. The Heaven side. I know I’m an eternal being over here. Not without growing pains and afflictions but with the knowledge, that no matter what happens to me, no matter what I choose, no matter how sick or well I am, I am an eternal being. I will eternally remain my creators. My one true vocation is to listen with all aspects of my receptors. All of my senses for the next indicated sign. I am to love, forgive and serve. All things I was sure would bring me misery. I avoided them at all costs, I now work vigorously to accept and understand and to obediently observe.

I have spent too many years on the other side being petty I suppose and sometimes still do. I am so glad to be on this side of the fence.

 

Feb. 2009

Only two Children at home...3 dogs again and Ian and I traded spaces. His gym is on the edge of the meadow now and I have a 800 sq. ft. of his old gym my new studio. The wild on the meadow is still happening. Thousands of snow geese have arrived.

I slept in till 10:40 today. No I don’t drink. I guess I was tired. Ian and I and some friends went to a crab feed. It was fun. Maybe that's what got me. Now I have ½ a day to shove in the 2 days worth of stuff I need and would like to do.

 

I threw my back out pretty good painting the pink tulip hunching over the table. My back is improving slowly probably because I am walking 40 minutes a day anyway and doing super light Yoga. I adjusted my table so the next time I obsess on a painting, which I hope to do soon, I won’t have to pay too much.

I don’t know why I haven’t written lately except I really don’t have much to say. The subject matter around me is huge, I just am not feeling it, I guess.

Because I love photography and painting so much I am making some life style changes so that I can continue to do what I love. Some people are extreme sports enthusiasts, and live for the rush I am an extreme doer. I want to go all day painting, gardening, cooking, mothering, cleaning etcetera. I like the way my life looks and feels when I have energy and I feel good. I rest after 9pm a few times a week with a movie or bath. I am not a big rester although I love to sleep and let myself sleep in when I need to. The changes I am making are dietary and exercise. Steve Hanks, one of my Favorite painters exercises 2 hours a day to keep in shape to continue to paint.

I would rather do anything than exercise, but not doing it is killing me quickly. I also come from a long line of women, who are allergic to sugar and flour. It makes us fat and sick. It gives me all sorts of ailments that intrude on my life. If I have to be more conscious & vigilant and cut a few foods out to feel great I am doing it. That is what I am doing and I find myself looking for the small improvements, like  getting off the prilosec. Like not having to take ibuprofen. Like having more energy already. It isn’t easy, but it is so simple. My sugar cravings are already gone. I am really excited. I also know that I am entering middle age and although my years say I am 44 I refuse to give my days over to feeling old and tired. I feel like I am just getting started. I am motivated.

Olivia is in the Swiss Alps skiing and here is the email she sent to me yesterday. “I am good I am in Lausanne right now. We just got done skiing!! It was a lot of fun but you couldn't see 4 feet ahead of you so we quit earlier around 2 30 pm. Other than that I am having a good time. I hope that I get to go to the alps again because I didn’t really get to see them. There was way to much cloud cover to see anything super foggy so that was a bummer but other than that I had a really good time. I feel only 4 times ha ha. I was trying to keep up they would wait for me and me not knowing it was them and speed past them. Than I crashed in to a fence DONT WORRY!! I’m fine it was really funny actually I will tell you the rest of the stories when we skype k I love you and will talk to you soon!!
love Olivia “

I did 3 photo shoots in the Bay Area last week and I will go down again in a couple of weeks to do 3 more. I LOVE photographing. I love the art of it. I love the intimacy of it. I love the technical aspects of it. I love finding the beauty in the light and my subjects.

B-Tee is a popular Bay Area Rapper and this is his second CD cover I have shot. Elena is a bride I photographed and soon I will get to photograph her baby. Can’t wait!